Remedy for chronic tiredness.

Let me ask you an impertinent question. Do you often feel weak, listless, tired as if you are chronically deprived of sleep. Do you sit in the office daydreaming, wishing it were five o’clock so you could get up and leave? Finally, when you arrive home all you want to do is slouch in front of the television.

If the answer to the above question is yes, then read on for I have a cure for your ailment. I too used to wake up in the morning feeling like an overworked donkey with acute headache until one day I hit upon a cure. It was a chance discovery that changed my life dramatically. I will let you in on the secret so you too can feel and look twenty years younger.

Some two years ago I was at my desk working on the to-do list for the day when I spotted Alexa sitting silently on the sideboard, its cable trailing downwards like the tail of a frightened puppy. It occurred to me then, why don’t I ask her to do the list for me. After all, I have paid good money for her. I mean £69, earned through sweat and labour, is not something to sneer at. Just imagine how many bottles of wine one could buy for sixty nine crisp smackers. I don’t know about you but I can easily hoover up at least twelve supermarket plonks from their bottom shelves for that amount of money or half that number for reasonably good quality reds from Majestic warehouse.

‘Alexa, tell me what important tasks I have on my to-do list today.’

I was expecting a smartly facetious reply from Alexa, something like ‘Alexa is not programmed to read your mind sir’ or ‘your current subscription does not include mind reading, please pay an additional £99 a month for this service to be added to your package’.

On impulse I picked up the remote and began switching channels on the television; yes, I am an unapologetic channel hopper, mainly to evade those annoying commercials whose main purpose is to brainwash you into believing bad is good. I came across a bright spark of a news reporter who resembled a skinnier version of Bart Simpson, the comical TV character. With a microphone in hand, he was interviewing a boxing coach in the dour confines of a boxing ring. Yes, like you, I don’t know why they call it a ring when in fact it is square. The coach, with a fresh face and formidable physique, who could with ease pass himself off as the twin brother of our all-time hero, Superman, looked no more than twenty five years of age. I was ready to wager whole of my £69 that he was not a day older than five plus twenty when Bart Simpson asked him how long he had been coaching kids to box.

‘Twenty five years,’ he replied, triumphantly shooting a forefinger in the air, as if that one digit was numerically equal to twenty five.

Bart Simpson gulped in surprise while I whisked my £69 off the table. ‘Twenty five years,’ he said, ‘how old are you then, if I may ask.’

‘Fifty, next week.’

‘D-a-w,’ exclaimed Bart Simpson, ‘I will be dammed. So what is the secret. How have you managed to stay so young looking and healthy?’

‘Secret? No secret. Come with me.’ The coach took Bart to a table where a glass jug containing an orangey red liquid was sitting beside a pint glass. ‘I drink a glass of this every day.’

‘So what is in it?’ asked Bart, peering into the jug and viewing it from all angles as if it was a rare Egyptian pottery tumbler of Tutankhamun era.

‘It contains apple, beet, carrot and a few other things. Chinese regard it as a miracle drink due to the wealth of benefits it provides for both mind and body,’ the boxing coach explained, ‘like to try some?’

I was flummoxed. God dam it, is that why he looks so fit and healthy? I got to have what he is having, I said to myself. I stopped coddling the remote and dived into researching the ingredients of the miracle drink. Within a week I had the formula. I have been consuming it ever since and most certainly feel fitter and healthier.

So here are the ingredients which you can find in any high street grocery store or supermarket. Just stay clear of wine racks if you can.

  1. A chopped apple
  2. A six inch stick of chopped carrot
  3. One or two boiled beetroots, dependent on size.
  4. A good handful of baby spinach.
  5. Tablespoon of rolled porridge oats, half teaspoon of cinnamon powder, quarter teaspoon of turmeric and a tablespoon of flaxseeds.
  6. For sweetness a handful of dried fruits: dates, prunes, figs and apricots.
  7. Few drops of lemon juice, dependent on taste.
  8. An inch cube of fresh ginger, smashed.
  9. Finally a tall glass of fresh orange juice (not the cheap supermarket orange drink).

Place all ingredients in a blender and whisk until you have achieved the consistency of thick or course soup. Voila, you have done it. Now stand back and admire your handiwork.

Best time to drink it is at breakfast. A glass will fill you up and give you the nutrients and vitamins needed to maintain a healthy body and mind throughout the day.

Here are the main benefits

  1. The beta-carotene and lutein present in carrots, coupled with the powerful properties of beets, help promote cardiovascular health. The apple helps reduce cholesterol and keeps blood pressure stable.
  2. In Chinese medicine, this drink is associated with many skin health benefits. Regular consumption helps remove pimples and blackheads, moisturizes your skin, combats dryness, improves the appearance of wrinkles, and revitalizes old tissues.
  3. Many people have testified that this juice provides excellent support to the functioning of the digestive system, especially for people who suffer from ulcers, intestinal problems, and chronic constipation. Drink it several times a day for regular bowel movements.
  4. The juice provides all the nutrients needed to maintain good cognitive functions, enhance memory, promotes concentration, strengthens and stimulates the immune system.


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