I wake up in the morning and the first thing I hear is news about Covid 19 – twenty thousand dead – they are falling like flies. Wear facemasks – wash hands – observe social distancing, if you don’t want to be in the statistics. So I try to shut my ears for a brief moment in the belief when I reopen them they will be talking about something else on the radio, perhaps about the weather, it will be a scorching hot day, hurray, Indian summer is on the way. Or they might be discussing cricket test match, shocking defeat for Aussies (they deserve it, I say). Or even talk about parks – yes parks – where once we were allowed to go for a walk or relax on the grass or take the dog for its daily defecation, otherwise known as exercise. On the question of dogs shitting (excuse my use of crude language, for I am in a mood to call spade a spade, or turd a turd) why is it that their owners never seem to notice (everyone else in the vicinity does) when the poodle stops suddenly, lowers its haunches to the ground to do its business. They walk on as if their cuddly pooch is incapable of doing anything as antisocial as that. As if it has been trained to wait till its home and then rush to the toilet, sit down on the loo seat, do the business and pull the chain afterwards, not to mention wipe the bottom with toilet paper first. Yes, loo roll, a rare commodity these days. I have seen people fight over a humble six-pack of Tesco own brand.
But I must not digress. Back to the issue of Corona virus, why don’t they let it rest for a while? I am not asking for much – just a couple of hours while I have my breakfast. I mean don’t we know by now what is Covid 19, where it came from, what are the symptoms, how to stay clear of it. Every man, woman and dog in the country knows everything there is to know. Even my goldfish in the pond have started social distancing from me. Whenever I go near the pond, they dive to the bottom, as if they have noticed I am not wearing a facemask.
And talking of Covid 19 – why the numeric figures of 19? Does it mean there will be more updated versions of the virus, more lethal, in the future? Like Covid 20, 21, 22…. God help us. I am going back to sleep.